H2O: HARDCORE HUSTLE ORGANIZATION
Despite an acronym that conjures images of serene babbling brooks, H2O promises to deliver something decidedly less tranquil: hard-hitting pro wrestling action featuring a unique combination of established stars and talented up-and-comers. With beloved deathmatch star Matt Tremont at the helm (in his very first solitary promoting venture) and a diverse crew of his wrestling friends and acquaintances all as determined as he to “"make a splash,” (H2O pun, sorry) all that we need now is jaded Philly-area wrestling fans to set aside their trademark cynicism and be willing to embrace us so we can try to build something new in the area, untainted by the various forces which have rendered long-established local promotions less and less fun to be a part of (we all know who I’m talking about here).
This is Matt’s pet project; my role(s) in any “official capacity” are small. But Matt is the emotional equivalent of a kid brother to me, and I am more than happy to offer up any form of support and assistance I’m capable of–be it in-ring, promotion (Wiggy…), creative feedback, advice, spelling and grammar checks, fashion advice, and (as pictured above) utilizing my design sense and art skills to throw together a pretty badass logo (if I do say so, myself). Furthermore, when it comes time to take the aforementioned badass logo and turn it into a badass t-shirt, H2O is in the advantageous position of ALREADY being fully endorsed by the famous design team of Wellknown Havoc, and all of the resources of proven wrestling merch tycoon, RandomThings.co at its disposal. As soon as it becomes available for purchase, I strongly encourage you to pick one up and proclaim your support of not only H2O, but also display your personal integrity (fashionably) by siding with the handful of stand-up gents who chose to remain loyal to RandomThings…as opposed to a certain highly obese, gently-retarded, compulsively-lying, inescapable black hole of talent, waste of stem cells, bridge troll who (as he INVARIABLY does in comparable situations) immediately opted to disregard a years-long working relationship filled with countless instances of accommodations and favors GREATLY exceeding standard customer service, in order to snatch up an opportunity to save a meager pittance in short-term shirt costs, because the concepts of loyalty and integrity are as incomprehensible to him as the ability to book a wrestling show [who shall remain nameless].
ANYWAY; navigating back to my original point…As much as I would like this show/promotion to succeed for Matt’s sake, I must admit that my motivations for being such a staunch proponent of this endeavor aren’t exclusively altruistic… I’ve given nearly 11 years to “tha bizness” now, not to mention the number that I’ve undoubtedly shorn off the end of my life through violent foolishness. There was a time, not so very long ago, that my love of wrestling wasn’t exclusively related to the in-ring excitement…In equal or even greater measures than the wrestling itself, it was the camaraderie of the locker room…the fraternity element we shared that could only be fully appreciated by the weird, unique, unhinged characters that are inexplicably drawn to this life. But somewhere along the line, that “family” element began to deteriorate–little by little– until it finally regressed into a collection of small cliques and a depressing number of barely-cordial strangers. CZW, which had long prided itself on our “tight as family” dynamic, just feels like a regular workplace now. A few good friends, a lot of hollow declarations of false affection, and lately, a staggering number of “brothers” whose names I don’t have the first guess at.
That’s what HARDCORE HUSTLE is about. None of the high school melodrama and unspoken feuds because these “men” are too pussy to hash out their girly squabbles. All the douchebags who’d rather spread gossip and instigate backstage faggotry than act like fucking MEN: Sorry, you cunts are never getting booked. H2O is a fresh start…shedding the bullshit, having badass matches, and being able to look round a locker room and know you’re amongst friends once again.
And we want you fans to come long for the ride, too. Not the assholes who can’t find a good word to say about anything…you guys can stay home and try to assuage your shattered self-worth by tearing people apart online. And not the ones who only come to incite trouble or try to guess your way to the personal attack that will break through the character being portrayed and hurt the real human being behind the facade. You guys are sad and lonely for a reason. We want you fans…I hope you motherfuckers are still around…who still come to have fun, and to enjoy a good show…If criticism is warranted, then say your piece, but don’t just come to be an asshole. Be part of it. Let’s all hang out and drink and chill in the parking lot. I used to love to party with the boys AND the crowd members. I want those dudes (and dudettes, wink, wink) to come check out H2O. No bait-and-switch bullshit, no condescension or insulting your intelligence…let’s make this a fun fucking place to be for wrestlers and fans alike. H2O: A flood of biblical proportions, washing away the sin of the morons who’ve ruined the last few years, and returning with the olive branch of…uh…Kevin Sullivan? Still working on my closer…
*The views of Danny Havoc are his alone, and do not reflect those of the financiers of H2O, who want ALL the fans I told to stay home to show up and buy a ticket.
