Comprehensive Media List
Clipped Matches and Similar Media
I had hoped to embed ALL of the videos into an extension page on this site, but for the moment, that seems to be impossible. Perhaps in the future, when the world is a better place, and newly-sentient killer robots have wiped the planet clean of the human plague, then there can finally be order to all of this. Until that neo-Utopian cyber-apocalyptic dream comes true, you shall have to settle for links to various online sources for Daniel Havoc-related video media. Enjoy. For the sake of humanity.
The Much Requested "BLEED FOR A LIVING" (Danny Havoc Rap Song) by Particle Don
...AND JUST WHY WOULDN'T I HAVE A RAP SONG ABOUT ME, EXACTLY?!?!?
Danny Havoc/CZW G4 Special Part 1
Danny Havoc/CZW G4 Special Part 2
Eclectic cable channel G4's short-lived series "G4: Underground" focused on the wife and I in their exploration of "ultra" wrestling (stupid, stupid Morgan Webb) during our brief exile in the wintery northlands of Wisconsin. Badly delivered and incredibly scripted lines ensued.
MONTAGES/RANDOM:
A sample of the recently-finished UHW:Medio-Core DVD, made by yours truly for the purpose of entertaining my friends. BUT, because I'm a morally-bankrupt spread-legged WHORE, I'm also making it available for purchase (see Merchandise page). So, in an effort to move a copy or two (which I would consider a helluva result), I've posted an excerpt from the video on YouTube. Enjoy.
I've decided to give back to the community by plugging my friends from up north (Mankato, Minnesota, to be precise), the crew of internet sensation backyard wrestling promotion, UHW: Deep North.
How is Prison Break still on??? It's in like the 3rd fucking season...haven't those guys broken the fuck out yet?!? How long does it take to break out of a goddamn prison???
A really quite excellent video, brand-spanking-new, featuring yours truly getting hurt wonderfully in synch with the beat. I put this up immediately because I really didn't want 'ROXwrestling' to cut himself...I couldn't have that on my conscience...not around the holidays and all...
Some kind fellow went to the trouble to throw together a composite music video of some daring feats of athletic prowess and lighttube-breaking skill by myself and by brother-in-blood, Drake Younger. I think it's pretty swell. Makes me want to give Drake a big old hug. Couch-bloodying bastard that he is...
Courtesy of my friend and OFFICIAL FANSITE OF DANNY HAVOC webmaster, Madman Tony, comes a hip new video with a great soundtrack from a great album, Slayer's GOD HATES US ALL, the soothing melodies and spoken-from-the-heart lyrics of which got me thru so many dateless nights in high school.
Danny Havoc "The Untold Story" Preview
Honestly, I have no fucking idea. I didn't know there were any stories about me that were untold. Well, except for the molestation stuff...but I've chosen to deal with that by paying it forward... Anyway, I'm very interested to see where this Seal-fueled awesomeness will be going...
A very cool music video put together by DeathmatchSyko, in which he thoughtfully included a Preface admittance by me that I can't really wrestle. Which is then proven. But I enjoyed it nonetheless.
Danny Havoc MV--Hungry Like The Wolf
Is Yuengling the best beer in America? Watch this video and decide for yourself!
Danny HavoK MV--Angel of Death
One of my favorite tributes to date, mostly just because of motherfucking SLAYER!!!! Awesome. Mad props to the guy who made this (I think it's fair to assume it's a guy, don't you?).
In spite of the fact that a couple of move names are not quite correct (Total Havoc=DoublePlusUngood), which I can't fault the video maker with, since commentators have never bothered to remember the move names I gave them, this is a fun little video which suprised me by coming up with 10 wrestling moves that I actually know how to do. I was quite taken aback.
This rules...somebody made a tribute video of yours truly using an awesome song by the completely unknown band "Hessian," who went to school with friend's brother. It all comes full-circle!
A series of clips of me hurting and getting hurt. Good times.
What an aptly named video for me, the end result of a billion years of evolution creating the most finely-tuned war machine any man or god could imagine. The only problem being, I'm definitely not part of "4 Loco..."
Top 10 Moves of Danny Havoc, Part Deux
Good lord, somebody else found ten moves I do. It's amazing. I didn't think I did that many actual moves...
CHRONOLOGICAL:
Tournament of Death 4--Ultraviolent Rumble (Debut)
Here, for your viewing (dis)pleasure, is a clipped version of my debut match at CZW's Tournament of Death 4 card, on July 29, 2005...
MBA Paid Vacation--Danny Havoc v. Slacker Martin (Ladders/Lighter Fluid)
FINALLY, some love for this match! Not, mind you, that it was by any stretch of the imagination a great match, but my old pal Slacker sure did die a thousand deaths on that suplex at the end. What's more, it was in front of, like, 25 people. I bet he's regretted that ever since... I, on the other hand, think it was AWESOME.
Chri$ Ca$h Memorial Show--Danny Havoc v. Andy Sumner (Barbwire Boards)
I had a goal when I came to CZW...it wasn't to be the best, or the most hardcore, or the champion of this or that--it was to be the best looking wrestler on the roster. At the time, that seemed like a pretty plausible goal (no offense, unattractive old-school CZW roster)...then this Abercrombie & Fitch model-looking pretty boy fuck came along...Sumner, I'LL KILL YOU, and I WILL be the MOST ATTRACTIVE WRESTLER IN C-Z-W!!!
NEXT "How Soon Is Now?"--DJ Hyde v. Danny Havoc
The very first EPIC encounter between mat wizard Danny Havoc and pro-abortion poster-child, DJ Hyde. If only I could travel back in time and call in sick for this show, I could have avoided months and months of being ruthlessly beaten by an angry, overweight man. But, as my friend Citric once said, "If wishes were fishes, we'd all be living in the sea." He's a philosopher, him.
NEXT "Slipping Into The Future"--DJ Hyde v. Danny Havoc
Danny Havoc returns from an exhaustive tour of Eastern Europe with his tapdance troupe, "T.A.P.Z.," to find that his family has been killed by evil warmonger overlord, DJ Hyde, who burned his village to the ground and ate his prized pig, Porkchop. Consumed by an indescribable rage, Havoc travels the globe, learning the ancient fighting arts of the most notorious ninja masters, then returns to America to avenge his family. He then loses to DJ Hyde in about 8 minutes...
CZW-Danny Havoc/Necro Butcher v. DJ Hyde/Jon Dahmer
Controversial religious leader, Danny Havoc (at-the-time-undiscovered) calls upon the power of Greyskull and the Necro Butcher to set right the many wrongs plaguing the world of CZW, most of which stemmed from letting DJ Hyde on the microphone...
IWA Mid-South KOTDM 2005 Nt. 1--Havoc v. Toby Klein v. Dysfunction (FBTW)
Indiana is a depressing place. All the more, when two big fuckers like Toby Klein and Dysfunction choose to take out a lifetime of middle-American boredom on yours truly, with the help of all of those weapons of death so kindly provided by the fans. By the way, thanks for supper, Slab.
IWA Mid-South KOTDM 2005 Nt. 2--Havoc v. Hellaware Assassin v. Brandon Prophet (FBTW)
Following a disastrous plane crash in the Andes, three survivors struggle for survival against the cold, unforgiving climate. Tensions are high after six grueling days of trekking through the mountains in search of food and shelter, and the weary travelers begin to entertain thoughts of cannibalism and, worse yet, corporate accounting. When the self-proclaimed leader of the expedition fails to produce results, his erstwhile comrades turn on him with sickening results, as shown in the link above.
CZW "7 Years Strong" DJ Hyde v. Danny Havoc v. Andy Sumner
Oh...that's why that guy always tells me not to "swing the chair like a pussy" at every show... I get it. Well, fuck him, anyway. He's just jealous of my chiseled good looks.
STF "Constellation"--DJ Hyde v. Danny Havoc
Alright, it's SHOOT INTERVIEW time now, baby...DJ Hyde has a SEVERE WEIGHT PROBLEM! And I'm not afraid who knows it!
CZW "When 2 Worlds Collide" Danny Havoc v. DJ Hyde v. Nick Gage (Panes of Glass--UVU Championship
"...When you get in the ring with a couple of animals like DJ Hyde and Nick Gage, you know you're going to have to STEP UP YOUR GAME, or get MINDLESSLY SLAUGHTERED with LITTLE OR NO OFFENSE..." Retrospectively, I should've chosen the former. Oh well. Hindsight's 20/20, as they say...
STF "Constellation 2"--DJ Hyde v. Danny Havoc (Falls Count Anywhere)
In a departure from the norm, I'll actually describe the match... This was my first actual victory over DJ Hyde after nearly 7 months of on-again-off-again feuding. If you wish to see how well he took it, scroll down to the next video clip. After this match, I couldn't walk normally for 2 weeks and I had a concussion so bad that, when I looked people in the eye, I could only make out their hairlines and their chins. The rest was a big swirl. Like taking hallucinogens, but less fun. I sure hope the 40 people in attendence felt like they got their moneys' worth...
CZW "Strictly CZW" Danny Havoc v. Hallowicked v. Jigsaw
I wish I had a fucking mask. Then maybe I'd be cool. But at least I'm making the effort, right?--Supporting the ol' San Jose Sharks is almost as cool as a mask. Right?
CHIKARA "YLC4" Danny Havoc v. Arik Cannon
International Rastafarian World Chainsaw Juggling Champion Daniel T. Havoc faces of against his deadliest opponent yet...a stocky Minnesotan with impressive muttonchops and a taste for Goulash...AND VENGEANCE. How will he survive?!?
CZW "Prelude to Violence" Danny Havoc v. JC Bailey
This really wasn't a good match (at all) but it had some fun stuff, a nice hairstyle, Extra-fat DJ Hyde, and my buddy JC, so it's gained inclusion in the page...
CZW "TOD 5" Round One--Zandig/DJ Hyde/Danny Havoc
The infamous matchup where I mistakenly aligned with Fatty Fatsack and that bald, black bastard Maven Bentley to put a weedwhacker into the belly of the man who gave me a job and got me started in this business. What a nice guy I am. I must've been on acid at the time... Oh well, at least hitting someone with a weedwhacker was fun...
CZW "TOD 5" Round Two--DJ Hyde/Danny Havoc/Drake Younger/JC Bailey
...And a fat lot of good having DJ around was... This is actually an episode of "Fake You TV," which means that you have to sit through some other gibberish to get to the Danny Havoc-tasting cream-filled goodness. Fortunately, super-likable dudes Bryce Remsburg (sp?) and Pineapple Andy are there to guide you through this harrowing journey. Enjoy!
CZW "Trapped" Danny Havoc v. Wifebeater
Oh my...It's the WIFEBEATER!!! Holy Shit! Total MARK-OUT MOMENT!!! Man, I can't believe I'm getting to meet Beater, a man whom I idolized during my formative wrestling-fan years! Wow! Gosh, I wonder what he's doing here...Oh...He's here to KILL ME... (Gulp) :(
MBA "WrestleLite GuerillaCam" Danny Havoc v. Drew Gulak
In this match, the "University City Stretcher" tries to forcibly convert me to Judaism, but I resist his sinister zionist scheme with the help of my trusty Serbian friend, Palador, and the finishing move made famous by my almost total disuse of it, the 'General Order 24.'
CZW "Expect The Unexpected" DH v. Drake Younger v. Necro v. Toby v. Deranged
"The Unexpected," as it turned out, consisted of no-shows. I was supposed to be wrestling my good buddy JC Bailey in this match, but he was busy doing whatever it is that he does when he doesn't make it to the airport, so I ended up wrestling EVERYBODY ELSE ON THE ROSTER. As you will see, it turned out well for me. So well, in fact, that I couldn't walk for days. The song is "Fuck or Fight," by Big B. Hmm. Given the choice, I'd rather fuck. But that option is rarely open to me. So I always end up fighting. GAY.
CZW "Night of Infamy 5" Danny Havoc v. Drake Younger
In my not-so-humble opinion, the best part of this match was my cool Spice Girls hat, which is tragically hard to see considering YouTube's low film quality.
CZW "FEAR" Danny Havoc/Necro Butcher v. The Dead Presidents
Finally I achieved my lifelong dream of beating up two New York latino pricks who look like characters out of a bad 90s war-slash-gang movie...Everything's turning up aces for ol' Danny Havoc!
CZW "H8"--Danny Havoc v. Drake Younger v. Scotty Vortekz
I liked this match cuz I got to wear my Batman gloves. Well, they're not MINE, per se...I took them from some kid on a playground. He cried like a bitch.
I can't sing. Sorry.
DH "XTra"--DH confronts Maven Bentley
Outside of the CZW corportate offices (located in the same industrial park as WWE corporate offices), Danny Havoc and his trusty sidekick Palador hatch a plan to ambush Maven Bentley and his secret bearded lover and force him into giving Havoc a match...BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY! I wish someone'd told me my shirt-collar was crooked.
IWA D/S "South of the Border" Danny Havoc v. Diehard Dustin Lee
That's not my gigging arm! Damn you!
CZW Out With The Old, In With The New: Brain Damage v. Danny Havoc
In Michael Bay's latest big-budget blockbuster schlock-fest, his trendy overuse of CGI continues, as he stages a beautifully-rendered bit of pixelated wizardry to make it look as if Brain Damage punches my face off! Amazing what they can do with computers these days, innit?
MV--Danny Havoc v. Scotty Vortekz: TOD 6
Some very thoughtful cats took time out of their busy schedules to throw together some snazzy music videos highlighting my first round Tournament of Death match against none other than my pal/arch-rival (depending on the level of kayfabery), Naptown skater supreme, Scotty Vortekz. Pronounced "Vor-Tek." The "Z" is silent. Or, if it's spelled with an "X," the "X" makes a "K" sound. For obvious reasons. Just ask English Lit. Major, Brian Logan. He knows...
IWA M/S KODM 07 Night 1--Danny Havoc v. Dysfunction (Cage)
Rocking an awesome haircut and getting kicked in the balls LEGIT by someone who would later become my friend and tag team partner. Good times.
IWA M/S KODM 07 Night 1 Post Match Promo Clip-DH v. Dustin Lee Staple Gun, etc.
In today's episode of "Things That Can But Shouldn't Be Done With Home Improvement Tools (Apart From Home Improvement)," Danny and Dusty demonstrate how to properly use a staple-gun to attach your friend/mortal enemy's face to a table. Then, because TV has gotten so shamelessly sensationalistic, Dustin decides to be a prick and legdrop said table. Fucking Diva...
CZW Down With The Sickness 3 5-Way Ladder Match
This was the match in which I won my first ever title!!! Unfortunately, it was a Jr. Heavyweight Title, and I had no business with it. I lost it in a month. I would feel slighted, if not for that godawful kick to Joker about halfway through...I totally shouldn't have won a title, just for that...
Fucking shit goddamn that Brain Damage punches hard. But he has such pretty blue eyes, I just want to love him...
The name says it all. I'm precocious and adorable.
IWA EC "Masters of Pain"--Danny Havoc v. Madman Pondo (Glass Pain) Havoc v. Pondo MV
Yes, dillweed, 'Pain' is misspelled as a pun. I'm an excellent speller, don't question me.
IWA DS Carnage Cup 07: DH v. Insane Lane Replays (RAZOR BOARDS)
...And in closing, let me just say; FUCK RAZOR BOARDS. Thank you.
CZW Cage of Death 9 Hype Video
I totally forgot about this awesome hype video until someone posted it on youtube, years later. Really liked this; it did an excellent job of re-capping the feud and clarifying the story. Too much DJ, though...LIKE IN EVERYTHING.
Nifty video of a nifty match. I'm not describing it any further because YouTube will probably pull it down soon anyway based on copyright infringement...
FIRM BUT GENTLE: THE DANNY HAVOC STORY Trailer
For an explanation of this, go to the merchandise page.
The title pretty much sums it up. I didn't realize that "wanting a fair shake" sounded so filthy when repeated too many times...
CZW "Tournament of Death 7" Finals MV--DH v. Drake Younger v. Scotty Vortekz v. Nick Gage
I'm sure glad that I quit smoking a couple of years ago so that I wouldn't be exposed to so many dangerous cancer-causing carcinogens...
I was acrophobic before this...how do you think I feel about heights, now???
IPW "Reign of the Insane" Trailer
ECW hardcore! Cookie sheets and keyboards, baby! Hell yeah!
MBA Academy Showcase 9/04--Danny Havoc v. It's Rob Tapp
I don't normally do student shows anymore, because I'm getting fat, lazy, and complacent, not to mention arrogant and greedy. But when one of my very best friends in the world of real life (as opposed to the wrestling business) crosses that threshold and makes his pro wrestling debut, I get my ass off of my couch and come hit him in the face. Because that's what friends are for.
IWA Deep South Carnage Cup Rd. 2: WHACKS v. Danny Havoc (Lighttube bundles)
Much like Where's Waldo?, you can have fun with this video by searching for the scene where I blade, very obviously. A little extra fun for you...
Bump Quality tables, there.
It really was the damn belt. Pondo booked me for the win, but then...wardrobe malfunction. Damn it. Only Janet Jackson and I really know the pain of this sort of ordeal.
I'm a patriot. God, I do prattle on though...
God, I come off like an arrogant cunt don't I? People must just think I'm conceited as hell. That sucks. It's a good thing I'm so handsome or I wouldn't have any friends...
A super-fun show, I swear. Not a bad deal from SMV, either, considering the 2-for-1 aspect. (Yes, I'm a whore. SMV is my pimp) Fun trailer featuring me double-stomping Chase McCoy rudely and unnecessarily hard. What? Wrestling is a work???
ICW 2/27/08 --Chase McCoy beats Danny Havoc
I went into this show with a practically debilitating back injury. This didn't help.
The majority of highlights from the match featured in the television special. Entertaining fluff, like a Mark Ruffalo movie.
CZW TOD 8: Dysfunction v. Danny Havoc (Panes of Glass)
Replays Well I used to think Dys and I were friends, but after watching this video, I'm beginning to question that. Friends shouldn't kick their friends in the face that often... One man's opinion...
F1rst Pro Wrestling 'The Return 09' Highlight Reel
In one of the most blatantly obvious examples of biased video editing I've ever seen, 1PW shows nothing but clips of Rob James beating on me, making it seem (inaccurately) that he dominated the match. Just terrible; you know, it's this kind of corruption in the video-editing industry that really makes it easy for the detractors of this sport to gather ammunition against it. Shameful.
A short trailer for the debut show of Elite Pro's sister organization, DeathGrip, featuring Dysfunction and myself battling it out in barefoot thumbtacks. Fun fact: Dysfunction hates barefoot thumbtacks. So do I. But we enjoyed the oil wrestling!
I generally don't post DVLH footage on here because Luke has a weird tendency of posting things temporarily and then removing them after a few days, and that would lead to a lot of dead links. Also, most of what I say on camera around him is stoned, drunken nonsense that I'll probably come to regret later in life... But this was just good old-fashioned entertainment, so I posted it. Enjoy.
An SMV promotional trailer for an NWA Insanity show featuring a really mediocre match between myself and Ego Fantastico. That's what I get for trying to wrestle. But he did give me a wicked black eye...that's something to look for...
IWA DS Carnage Cup 09: Danny Havoc v. Christian Faith (Replays)
A fun little match with a good up-and-comer who doubles as a great car pillow, Christian Faith.
I quite like the Sex XXXPress. He has a good attitude on deathmatches...'Let's hurry up and finish this so we can dance on bitches in the audience!'
Danny Havoc challenges the DTU roster
I was extremely hung-over when filming this promo, and as a result, it is terrible. However, I did mention that the cat of death was on the table, which I think I deserve bonus points for... DTU Nov. 28th! More casualties than were caused by swine flu!
Danny Havoc/Drake Younger--Final DTU Promo
This is the tremendous promo (filmed on the same, hung-over morning as above) in which I completely forget that Mexico is part of North America. I'm really doing the US of A proud with ignorance like that...I could probably be president someday...
IWA E/C Masters of Pain 09 Trailer
Watch this trailer, and--at the beginning, when all of the participants are coming out to the ring--imagine it's a dating show, and you're on it. Now go ahead and pull the hammer back...
IWA E/C MOP Pre-Match Interview
All of this is very true.
Drake, Danny, y Shima internet commercial for B-CHAMPS Sports in Mexico City
A bad but enjoyable commercial from the American crew on hand for DTU's end of November shows, advertising a cool place called B-CHAMPS where we signed autographs. It is here that I forget for a second time that Mexico is in North America. Go me.
A couple of really awesome tributes to the year that was. A very entertaining year with a lot of changes, most notably me going from almost quitting CZW, to being in the main event at Cage of Death (not shown) and being very excited for the future of the company. Hoo-rah.
CZW COD XI Sami Callihan v. Danny Havoc-Cage of Death MV
Apparently, the only things we did that were worthwhile involved breaking glass panes. Had I known that, I might've just skipped all of the other nonsense in between and saved myself some time and effort.
CZW TOD 9 Post-Match Interview
Not at all funny, but I do miss my beard...
I'm Not Impressed By Devon Moops
CZW v. DTU clips on NatGeo Mexico
Brief-but-neat clips of Drake and I wrestling for DTU in the beginning of a NatGeo special on national television in Mexico. Nifty.
"Reflections, Memoirs, and Musings of a Drug-Crazed Sheep Killer" is out now! Consider yourself excited! Buy it now on the merch page FUCKING DO IT, YOU CHEAP CUNT!
Unused Danny Havoc v. Jon Moxley Promo
Nifty trailer for the impending SMV release featuring the entirety of my feud with that goofy-haired emo rapscallion, Sami Callahan, which is said to include all of our promos and matches. Neat.
All Of My Ex-Friends Apparently Now Hang Out...
Stabbings! Wrestling has just evolved to the next echelon! Everybody wins!
DH v. Matt Tremont R1 Highlights
The initiation of a totally unknown Atlantic City resident into the glorious world of grungy, sleazy indy deathmatches!
DH v. Devon Moore R2 Highlights
He cut me, mang...he cut me...
"What Have I Really Accomplished?"
No kidding. What a loser.
CZW v. BJW Korakuen Hall match
CZW featured on BJW 3.21.11 MV
Unfortunately, my debut for BJW and the most widely-seen 'Danny Havoc in Japan' match thus far was also probably my worst. Let us never again speak of me sitting on Numazawa's head...
Dive from truck in Hokkaido, Japan
"EVAN...WILLIAMS!"
"You'd Better Run The Fuck Away"
In spite of being nothing but a rambling, drunken mess of a promo, which does nothing except insult my opponent and make CZW champion Devon Moore look like a complete pothead (which he is), this is still one of my favorite promos to date. Thank you, Evan Williams!
tHURTeen comes to my aid, so I yell and throw my elbow pad at him. Self-explanatory.
In spite of being rather slept on, one of my favorite matches of the last year or so. That Lucky/tHURTeen/Pappicks character...damn, he's adorable. This match won him his place in the NATION OF INTOXICATION!!!!(see below)!!:*)..
Can't imagine who wants to hear this, but here it is, nonetheless. This phone connection makes me sound really nasal. Weak.
NATION OF MOTHA-FUCKING INTOXICATION!!!
After almost two years of arguing and bitching, my obstinant ass finally gets to choose the name for our awesome faction. Fuck do we rule. T-shirts will be forthcoming, and you WILL be wanting one...
...And Lucky is fucking adorable.
"You wanna go?!?" Yeah. I said that.
Drunk As Shit Promo (Project: Mayhem/Triangle of Ultraviolence)
Apparently, despite the all-too-real crashed car problem, I was feeling pretty damn good and sexy on this night.
CZW Germany--Danny Havoc v. Devon Moore Drunken Scaffold MV
What could possibly be smarter than getting shitfaced and throwing your friends off of scaffolds? Best idea ever.
Yeah...I grew up there. In the middle of that cornfield. Now you know why I'm so warped.
I like that my new gimmick allows me to literally be hammered ALL THE TIME. That Sandman fella had it right all along...
And how.
NOI Midwest Branch discussing the plague that is Drew Gulak
Unfortunately, kind of hard to hear, as the buzzing from the fluorescent lights is quite loud. Still, an accurate portrayal of my storied history with noted douchebag, Drewsifer Gulak.
Aftermath of Gulak's loss to Scotty Vortekz @ CZW's 13th Anniversary Show
It's weird how cameramen just follow me around like that. I must be more famous than I thought...
Danny Havoc and Lucky13 corrupt Alexander James
Drugs are good for you. Look what a winner I turned out to be...
Strong words for one Drewsifer Gulak
No-Rope Barbed Wire for J.A.P. Gulak
Two fun promos featuring me and Dev, drinking and being awesome. "Party like the Amish at Rumspringer" is officially my favorite line that I've ever uttered. I don't mind blowing my own horn on that one.
CZW Proving Grounds Hype/Gulak-Havoc feud Recap
CZW Proving Grounds NRBW Highlights MV
Well...I'm excited.
The Nation of Intoxication prepares for TOD
Addressing my (all-too-real) fear of heights
Goddamn hipster!
Lucky13 and I prepare for our Tag Title match
Our strict training regimen consists of beer, vodka, whiskey, slip'n'slides, Burger King, and fishing tackle parties. That's how legends are made. Take note, pussies.
Lucky is the scariest man alive.
An episode focused entirely on our blossoming fued with 4LOCO! Maven has 5 fingers!
If you were curious as to just how much more inappropriate we're going to be allowed to be...so were we. Here is our latest litmus test...
Danny Havoc v. Matt Tremont--IWA EC MOP
Before it's taken down, here's me bleeding all over my boy Matt! Yay!
Tremont powerbombs Havoc From Masters of Pain 2012.
What an odd look on his face afterward.
Thank god we have trained medical professionals on hand for situations such as this...
BJW Danny Havoc/Jaki Numazawa v. Yuko Miyamoto/isami Kodaka--TLC
Team Totally Fucking Awesome (Jaki and I) kick the shit out of Team Japanese Eddie Guerrero and Ninja Bulimic, and I get my first ever win at Korakuen! If only I'd bothered to shave for it so I wouldn't look like such a sleazy piece of shit...
He cuts an intimidating promo, doesn't he?
ISW MV feat. clips of Lego Deathmatch
Legos, blacks, pandas...ISW has it all!
BJW Havoc/Younger/Numazawa v. Miyamoto/Isami/Takeda--Suspended Weapons
You know what makes rape jokes funnier? Not having been raped. Sigh...
BJW Kasai/MASADA/Takeda v. Havoc/Numazawa/Younger--Lighttubes/BW Boards
We played Red Rover: Japan v. America, but each team had a double agent who complicated the whole affair. In the end, we all decided just to fall on glass in the interest of world peace. Stand United!
BJW ShinKiba 1st Ring: Danny Havoc v. Jaki Numazawa--Barb Wire Jungle
Jaki Numazawa is awesome. He loves easy matches.
NOI to take up Hockey, Drinking
In breaking news, CZW's answer to the 3 Stooges has decided to make a clean break from the corrupt world of professional wrestling to form an Adult Men's Hockey League. Sources close to the trio have gone on record as suggesting it will have "a lot to do with drinking, a little to do with ice-skating, and Danny Havoc doesn't know how hockey works." Ty Cobb has been linked to a potential coaching position. And apparently, "knuckle-puck" isn't a real thing.
IndySummit New Year's Eve 2012: Havoc/Inematsu/Numazawa v. MASADA/Takeda/Hoshitango
Due to mis-translation, I ate 4 powerful sleeping pills that I thought were painkillers. I was falling asleep on the stairs in the back corridor of Korakuen Hall before the match. In spite of this, I thought I did a pretty good job of falling unsafely all over the place in the midst of this spectacle. Maybe sleeping pills are the key to a good match?
BJW 1.3.13: Havoc/Miyamoto/Takeda v. Ishikwawa/Sasaki/Shadow WX
This was supposed to be me vs. Ishikawa, but apparently the 3 challenges I've made never actually happened. "Who controls the fast, controls the future."
Highlights of All Danny Havoc Matches from BJW's Deathmatch Survivor League
Compiled by me, collected from clipped versions of my matches from the BJW Round-Robin Deathmatch Tournament from 2013. For the record, those xenophobic editors over at BJW head-offices love to cut out gaijin offense...These matches were not nearly so one-sided in their original form. Oh well, it's still cool they put these out to the public so fast.
BJW 3.17.13--Havoc/Younger v. Ito/Tsukamoto
The last time Drake and I managed to see eye-to-eye and work as a team before all hell broke loose in the BJW dojo and a years-long friendship was damaged beyond repair. Damn, that sounded all kinds of dramatic. Epic, even. This match is kinda lame. But Drake and I both landed on our feet out of our respective flip dives, and acted like we knew it was gonna happen the whole time, so that was kinda cool.
Fuck You, Scotty Vortekz, You Fucking Fuckbucket
So, as if bailing on us just after I put out a bunch of $ for t-shirts with his stupid face on them wasn't enough of a slap in the face, my former enemy-turned-friend-turned-enemy-again, Scotty Vortekz (skater scum) made his return to wrestling, unannounced, and decided to take up sides with Drake Younger against his former partners. Fuck him. Benedict Arnold. See if Drake puts your ugly mug on a shirt. You just see.
CZW Tournament of Death 12 Highlight Re-Cap
Fortunately for all the little Whos down in Whoville, justice prevailed and right equalled might, as I felled the traitorous skater fiend with the use of my trusty go-to maneuver, the General Order 24, in a match that featured the wanton destruction of some 450 lighttubes and the releasing of unbelievable masses of carcinogenic toxic gas into the already-weakened ozone layer. It's only a matter of time before CZW melts the polar ice caps, and I, for one, CAN'T WAIT.