Badly-penned storylines aside, I want to wish the very best to my close friend, Jake Crist, as he transitions into the next (less masochistic) phase of his life, and leaves the in-ring portion of his wrestling career behind. One of my favorite wrestlers to watch AND work with, Jake is also one of the most genuinely likable people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, and the times spent with him and his brother over the last few years have been some of the most fun I've had during my decade in this business...which makes it all the more mind-boggling when you consider that they were both born and raised in one of my top 3 contenders for "States I'd Most Like To Replace With A Smoking Crater..." I think it's probably his down-to-earth humility amidst all the egomania and delusion that wrestling is plagued by which made me like Jake so immediately, and now it is those same qualities which are taking him away from us. The world of professional wrestling--except in the rare instances of practitioners who manage to make it a financially-viable lifelong career--is an industry populated almost exclusively by people waging a tireless war against growing up (myself very much included). This isn't a scathing indictment of wrestlers; just a rather obvious (if potentially embarrassing) truth that we all must face at one point or another. Jake Crist, in spite of what you might initially assume about a man who routinely kicks others in the face while decked out in orange underwear and shiny boots, is an extremely pragmatic, old-school, and thoughtful individual (from what I have come to know of him as a friend). He manages FAR better than most I know at prioritizing the things that are of real importance...family, security, career...while still managing to excel at the sport he loves and is so gifted in. He carries the same burdens as any father and family man, and faces the endlessly frustrating realities of this infuriating business we're in; yet, all the while, he maintains a "Drake-esque" positivity and seemingly-unflappable calm and patience. To someone like myself...someone who, despite being as mentally and physically capable as anyone of making it in this world, finds it difficult to keep jobs or maintain relationships because of contending factors as trivial as "a lot of new viewing options of interest on Netflix," I hold great admiration for the adherence to values that Jake embodies. These values are now coming into play on a large scale as his second child is nearly due, and because of the man that he is, he has chosen to make the necessary sacrifice of his life in the ring to focus on providing for his growing family. What a fucking ADULT. I mean, really...that shit blows my mind. I'm nearly 30, and my biggest accomplishments in the field of responsible decision-making and self-sacrifice are all on the level of "Don't buy a big bag of pills when rent's due tomorrow"...a hypothetical scenario rooted firmly in truth, in which my success rate is maybe 50%, at best... What I'm trying to say (in my trademark verbosely meandering way) is that, as much as I'm saddened by the loss of one of my favorite performers and collaborators from this 'rasslin nonsense, I can't help but like and admire Jake Crist all the more, for being the kind of guy that I wish I could be more like. I certainly hope that the universe rewards him in the way he deserves, and I wish him nothing but the very best. With that said...let me also make clear that NONE of the aforementioned respect and admiration would be lost should he decide (after all of his ducks have been rowed and his duties as provider are securely in a holding pattern) that he wants perhaps to return to the ring and have one more go-round with his old pal, Danny Havoc, free of the time restrictions which limited our only singles match to date down to a mere teaser of the match we're capable of... Just a thought, is all. Cheers, good buddy.
Yesterday afternoon at world-renowned sporting facility, Markland's Little Acres, after trying my hand at off-roading (it's not for me), I made an ann...
The first of what will no doubt be many self indulgent farewells...
June 11, 2017
Alright, listen up…Sami Callahan, as much as I enjoyed your MySpace-styled bedroom threats against me, I’m not going to dignify your paltry attempts a...
8/18/09 (CZWrestling.com Article)
August 18, 2009
Attention: Fans, Comrades, and People Who Force the Inclusion of an Inconvenient Third Category: