CZWrestling.com Talkery (CZWrestlling.com Artlcle)

Hey there. Me again. Danny Havoc. The Havster. Sorry to bother you…Only take a minute... Um, Maven, I still haven’t heard back from you about the whole “no opponent” fiasco…what’s the deal, man? I realize that I was hateful and insulting, but you totally deserved it, so I don’t think that’s any reason to be thoughtlessly unresponsive. For such a smarmy weasel of a guy, you sure can be rude. It’s been a few weeks since I composed that tell-all exposé that revealed the nature of your douchiness and the behind-the-scenes drama of my not having an opponent, and you still seem to have taken no action in that situation. You and I may not be pals anymore, but you’re still the promoter of this company—CZW; a business that relies on you making matches and using your available talent (and yes, I use that term liberally in its application to myself)—and it would be to your detriment if you opted not to grant me an opponent, just out of pettiness. Real ‘Cut off your nose to spite your face’ kind of thing. And that’s no good for anybody’s business. Listen, homie, I just want a chance to go out there, have some good ol’ fun in the form of some blood-soaked mortal combat, and get paid. C’mon, man, don’t blacklist me just because of our erstwhile differences…Find me a damn opponent! Somebody good! Not “good” in the ‘classically-trained mat technician’ way—MY kind of good…Somebody who doesn’t mind getting a bit violent and having a fight. I was up last night, amid a cloud of smoke (my dog’s so disappointed in me) (kudos to anyone who knows what the hell I’m talking about with that joke), watching “Invincible,” the inspiring true story of when Marky Mark joined the Philadelphia Eagles under an assumed name and, like Rudy, brought working-class heart and determination to a lackluster team and played his way into our hearts…being a plucky underdog myself, I found myself exhilerated by watching this former Funky Bunch member achieve his lifelong dream of playing professional football, but I had no goal on which to set my sights, as I have no overwhelming odds to try to overcome in the near future, because you still haven’t given me an opponent! Seriously, how am I ever going to follow the path to glory that a lifetime of inspiring Disney movies has promised me if I don’t have anything to overcome?!? Come on, Maven…don’t be a jerk. Give me a match. Do me a solid. I take back all that bad stuff I said about the Jeffersons.

-Dan