CZW doesn't need scheduled cards...They just need DIVERSIONS!!! (CZWrestling.com Article)
In lieu of an update…
An Exhaustively-Researched Essay on the Tournament of Death
By Danny Havoc
Salutations, CZWrestling.com readers! Following the unprecedented international success and critical acclaim of my previous contribution to this site (which I artfully titled “6/23/06 Update”), I’m making my return to the forum that made me a cult icon in the world of Japanese neo-grunge pop music… So, without further ado…
Tournament of Death…the mere mention of these three words inspires fear and thrill for those who are familiar with its history; and mild, disinterested confusion for those who are not... For those of you jotting down notes for your upcoming Oral class report on TOD (which I’m going to assume is a fairly large chunk of you…), the very first Tournament of Death was held on August 31st of 2002, at a now-famous-amongst-CZW-fans-and-alcoholics bar called Racks, in Dover, DE.
At the time, then-CZW president LOBO was embroiled in a bitter feud with CZW owner (and my personal hero, in case he happens to be reading this—please don’t kill me…), John Zandig. Zandig, his middle finger flying high in the face of authority, declared that if LOBO wouldn’t let him do what he wanted in Philadelphia, then he’d promote his own show in Delaware, where LOBO couldn’t touch him. Thus, taking its cues from earlier deathmatch tournaments (most of which happened in Japan, where I am a pop idol), Tournament of Death was concieved. It pitted 8 of America’s toughest hardcore wrestlers against one another in one of the sickest and bloodiest shows in history.
[Ed. Note: LOBO has since been forgiven, presumably because he cut his hair.]
Since that blood-soaked day four years ago, CZW has annually treated its fans to what I would unbiasedly and objectively call the best goddamned deathmatch tournament in all of the history of the universe including ancient Rome and any interstellar extra-terrestrial deathmatch tournaments that I’m not currently aware of, ever.
That said, we are now no more than 3 days away from TOD 5, and the “buzz” seems to be very much that of a mixed reaction. I’m not one of those guys who pretends to be unaware of the internet buzz…I read the forums from time to time; I’m not above a little self-interested vanity…and I understand the complaints being put forth. I make no attempt to justify or defend against any of the accusations; I speak for myself and don’t pretend to represent anybody else…but allow me to say candidly, in all earnestness (and—as you may have noticed—that’s not my usual M.O.)…the show will be good.
Not for any egocentric reason such as “Hey, I’m there!” or anything, but because I know most of the guys in this tournament, and I know that each and every single one of them* will risk life and limb…will fight through any pain…will withstand any torturous punishment…will do GODDAMNED ANYTHING…to win this tournament.
*Except DJ Hyde, but I don’t plan to give him a choice…
I understand that this show does not appeal to every wrestling fan, and that’s fine…if you’re seeking technical wizardry, this is probably not the show for you. Fair enough. But if you want to see twelve guys who are fighters…whose determination, resolve, and love of the sport will enable them to fight through anything in an attempt to be the best…then you NEED to see this show. Is deathmatch wrestling a good idea? Probably not. Entering into a ring with the kind of lunatics that are drawn to this sport and engaging in a match where pretty much everything is legal is NOT a wise choice…but the men who do this are a different breed, and their heart and toughness are worthy of RESPECT. If you love hardcore wrestling, if you want to see this bloodsport continue for as damn long as we can keep doing it…get your asses out to the show and give some support.
Sorry…my buzz must’ve worn off; I got all “serious” there for a minute. My bad. Still, I stand by my message…If you’re a fan of hard-fought, hardcore wrestling, get to this show. In my opinion, TOD ranks up near the episode of Baywatch where Hobie Buchanan dreams that he’s starring in a music video on the list of “Kickass Things That Everybody Ought To Like Or They Must Be Total Douches.” Consequently, that’s the title of my forthcoming novel…pending that I actually write it…
Um…My train of thought has derailed like an AmTrak train (those jokes are still cutting-edge in Iowa, cut me some slack)…I don’t know where I’m going with this, but the gist of it is: Tournament of Death will kick ass. Scout’s honor. And all the cool kids are going to be there. Smoking. Don’t you want to be cool…?
