Hello folks. Daniel Havoc here. Again. I'll bet you're sick of me, eh? Too bad. Until the webmaster and I have a tiff and he throws me out, I get to write gibberish for this site whenever I want. If CZW and its' fans are the Beatles, then I'm Yoko, baby! Live with it.
Anyway, I'm announcing a match by way of typing up another block of nonsense for you to sift through. I've recently been informed that, on Sept. 8th, at the Chri$ Ca$h memorial show, I have been entered into a ladder match with the Sk8r Boi himself, Scotty Vortekz. Well, that's just fucking fine with me. Frankly--while I realize it may sound arrogant and prickish--I feel pretty damn comfortable with it. I've beaten Scotty Vortekz in both of the singles matches I've faced him in, and the only time he ever got a pin on me was when Drake Younger was busy distracting me by not obediently staying under the piece of glass I took the time to place above his prone body. Sure, my victories over him may have been a few of the only ones I've ever picked up in this sport, but nonetheless...
So, I ask myself, what is there for me to gain in this match? I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm already the Junior Heavyweight Champion, since I beat Scott at T.O.D. Which reminds me, why haven't I been given that belt yet? I need to check into that... And, to be entirely forthcoming, I fucking hate doing ladder matches...Scotty must love them, since he's in, like, 3 a week (I swear to god, it must be like doing the laundry for him by now...), but I'm not a fan at all. So, what's my motivation?
Well, I'll tell you...You should have guessed it by now, anyway, and shame on you if you haven't... My motivation, and the same for every wrestler who's working on this show, is to put forth our best performances in honor of the memory of Chri$ Ca$h. I don't profess to have been close with Chri$, and I doubt my opponent ever got the chance to meet him, but we all know and admire his work, and we're all there to honor him for it. And, as aforementioned, I don't like wrestling in ladder matches, but we all know Ca$h was the man in them, so I'm going to put my personal feelings aside and go do my best to put on a good one in tribute to him.
Then, a week later, we get more into my area of expertise, at the death match mini-tournament on Sept. 15, which I've decided to re-dub "T.O.D.Cito: The Donnybrook In Delaware" (because I've got stroke enough to do that...), where I'll be gunning for that UVU title that has eluded me for so long. If all goes as planned, I'll be able to walk out of that tourney as UVU Champion, and achieve my goal of carrying that belt into the Cage of Death show (which is now called "Chain-Link Three-Quarter Cube of Excruciating Discomfort").
So...I got a bit sidetracked, but to sum up:
Danny Havoc v. Scotty Vortekz
...That's all that really needed to be said...the rest was just superfluous...Sorry...